It’s been six years, but every year when this day rolls around I remember our last time together before she died.

“You were a good mom,” I said.

She smiled and said, “You were a good daughter.”

A few years ago, I wrote more about that moment in time. When I shared it with my grief writing group, a few people cried. They wished those loving words had been said before their parent died. It made me realize just how fortunate I was to have a loving mother, despite her faults that got on my nerves.

It seems it’s not until a parent dies, that we are free to see them as they really were, as a human being, with their own struggles and insecurities. A person who was born & raised in a different time, with different opportunities and challenges. After a parent dies, we can let go of that lingering childhood need to assert our independence from them. Now we can begin to truly appreciate what they gave us, even if it was only the gift of life.

I was fortunate to have a mother who gave me more than life. She gave me her love.

I miss my mom’s love and yet I know it remains alive within me through many memories of Mom.