Adventures in Sailing: A Metaphor for Life

I love this! Thanks for the humble, humorous, oh so human encouragement to try something new!


You need wind in your sail and the boat will move forward.

When was the last time you took up an unfamiliar sport or hobby?

As adults, we tend to stick with what we are good at.

It’s fun to learn something new as long as we don’t have to make a fool of ourselves.

Or risk failure.

I can’t draw a straight line. I have two left feet. I flunked gym. I’m bad with technology. I’m afraid of heights. I can’t carry a tune.I’m not creative.

My quest to say “Yes” in 2022, includes trying things outside my comfort level and experience.

I’ve had years of ballet training, so trying new forms of dance, while at first challenging, is still fun and familiar. Chance of failure pretty low. Fear factor-zero.

I knew I needed to stretch myself if I was to conquer fears.

It was time to

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How Do You Write About Grief?


“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.”

~Edna St. Vincent Millay

Heart_CandleWe all experience grief and loss. Some of us more than others. There is no escaping its grip.

The longer we live, the more we lose.

The grief of losing a thing, and the fear of losing it,
are equal.”     

In trying to comfort others, or share our grief experience, we get stuck in the sphere of emotion and physical sensation. How do we speak about grief?

We turn to metaphor and imagery.

A black hole.  A sinking ship. A shredded heart. Time stands still. Grief eats like acid.

Sometimes, grief can be described in the same way as love.

“Grief is like the ocean…

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One Day At A Time?

Wonderful insights here.


During the height of the Covid-19 pandemic, imagining the future seemed downright scary, if not impossible.

The undeniable uncertainty of the virus, along with the chaotic state of our society, seemed to demand we move toward the One Day At At Time, philosophy.

Planners and long-range thinkers surrendered. Those who had always tended to lived within the NOW, were more prepared to ride the anxious wave of uncertainty.

Imagining a future safe hug from a distant loved one,

or a trip abroad,

or the sweet kiss of a grandchild,

was about as much forward thinking as many of us could handle.

Enough hope to light our way.

But thanks to a medical miracle, the world began opening up, albeit amidst continued divide and tragedy.

A new kind of normal in which to navigate.

Some of us began to hope. To plan. To move forward.

Are you making travel plans?…

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There are answers ready to pop for you – follow your joyful excitement — Joy Passion Desire

There are answers ready to pop for you, when you relax and listen to your inner guidance. When your impulse comes from a place of joyful excitement, follow that calling.

There are answers ready to pop for you – follow your joyful excitement — Joy Passion Desire
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#Coronaversary. What have you learned one year later?


When was your last “normal” day?

What were you doing when the world turned upside down?

For me that was Friday, March 13th 2020.

Like toppling dominoes, one cancellation piled atop another. Our public school went remote. Our synagogue cancelled Sabbath services. Our town library closed. My gym and dance studio closed. An up-coming business trip was cancelled. My private students cancelled their lessons. My daughter came home from college (thinking it would be a few weeks).

Oh, and my son’s engagement party was planned for that weekend. 

I’m glad I didn’t know how long the doom would last. How many lives would be lost.

There is hope now. But our world is different. You are different. Hopefully, you’ve gained some things amidst all the losses. 


I learned the primacy of relationships over work and ambition. 

I learned that absence makes the heart grow fonder and stronger.

I learned…

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Raising a Teenager Today: What’s Vaping?

Image 6-3-19 at 9.04 PM
We had a great turn out for this workshop at Morningside High School in Inglewood.
Would you like a workshop at your school?  Contact me for more info.

“Vaping” (or electronic cigarettes) has become a big problem with Middle School and High School youth. They think it’s safe because it tastes sweet, but it’s not. There’s nicotine as well as other chemicals and particles in the vapor that can harm the lungs and the developing teen brain.

I know communication with a teenager can be challenging.  Just remember they still need you and the guidance of your adult brain, even though they act like they don’t.

Teens can become addicted to the nicotine.  Nicotine is very addictive and hard to quit.

Contact me here if you’d like more information.  I also have helpful communication tips for talking with teens and keeping the lines of communication open.

If nothing you do is working, don’t be afraid to ask for help. You’re not the only one who struggles with parenting a teenager. I’ve been there too!

Two of my favorite books for parenting a teenager are:

Get Out of My Life, but first could you drive me and Cheryl to the mall?  by Anthony Wolf

How to Talk So Teens Will Listen, and Listen So Teens Will Talk, by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish

Check out   TEEN LINE is a non-profit teen help hotline based out of Cedars Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles.   Teen “Listeners”  at Teen Line are trained and supervised by therapists to help teens who call, email, or text Teen Line.  “The line is free and open every night from 6:00pm to 10:00pm Pacific Time and can be reached by calling  (310) 855-4673 or (800) 852-8336 (US & Canada only). It’s been running since 1980, making it one of the oldest help hotlines in the country.” Wikipedia

One last word of caution:  If your teen is depressed or withdrawn or having mental/emotional problems, be sure to remove any guns from the home.  Sadly, teen suicide is on the rise because teens are able to access unsecured guns in the home or in a friend’s home.  You might talk with his friend’s parents about securely locking up their guns separate from the ammunition so kids and teens can’t access them.  We need to prevent unintentional tragedies. We see too many today.

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Holiday Stress, Kids, and Money


Holiday Stress, Kids, and Money

Are the holidays “the most wonderful time of the year” or “the most stressful time of the year”? I have great memories of the holidays as a child.  I couldn’t wait for December to arrive.  However, I have met many people for whom the holidays hold terrible memories of Dad or Mom getting drunk and everyone fighting.

Even though as a kid, I couldn’t what for the holidays to arrive with all the magic of the lights, the music, beautiful cookies and presents under the tree… parents were not so excited. My mother and father worked very hard to provide for our family and the holidays meant more bills and more stress.  One Christmas Eve, I remember my dad was very depressed.  He had just been laid off and had no other prospects for work.  As a teenager, I was a bit worried about him, but within a few months he found another job.

Sometimes our kids learn more from our failures than our successes.

~ My dad never said a word, but his example spoke loudly to me.  What did I learn, watching him lose his job, get depressed, and then get back up and find another job?

R E S I L I E N C E ~ “the ability to recover quickly from illness, change, or misfortune” says the American Heritage Dictionary.

I learned resilience by watching my father fall down and get back up again and again throughout his life.  He had the inner strength to bounce back from life’s hardships.  Years later, when I was laid off from a job, his example was there to guide me and inspired me to start my own private practice.  Hopefully, my example will help my kids someday if they lose a job.

Children learn resilience by watching how their parents deal with misfortune. As much as we need to protect our children from harm, we do them no favor raising them to believe that life should never have any pain, disappointments, or discomfort. For pain and joy are intertwined and inseparable, like it or not.

How will you and your family survive and thrive through all the holiday expectations this year? So much is dependent upon our own expectations.

I’ve heard, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”  Maybe so.  Do I expect Christmas to be wonderful and happy every year?  What if someone we love just died and won’t be with us for anymore holidays? What if we just got divorced and all our usual family traditions have changed?  What if you just lost your job?

Do we really have to spend so much on gifts this year and put more on our credit cards? What would make the holidays the most meaningful for our family this year?  More presents?  Or more good memories of times shared together?  What’s the right balance?

Of course, our kids want lots of gifts and that’s part of the fun.  We enjoy making our kids happy.  And, how might we also teach them that this is the season of giving as well as of receiving?

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“Parenting the Teenager” Workshop Flyer

Screenshot 2018-11-02 17.42.26


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“Parenting the Teenager”


Teen got you stressed ?

You’re not alone!

You’re invited to a special workshop for parents of teens

(or anyone working or living with teens)

Nov. 19 and Nov. 26, 2018


El Segundo Public Library

El Segundo, CA

(This program is not sponsored by El Segundo Library)




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Worried About Kids Getting Teased & Bullied?

FLYER-Bully Workshop,Westport Heightstwo young girls laughing behind another girls back

Learn how to help your child deal with bullying in a new, effective way
that really works!

Linda Marten will lead this informative, helpful training for parents and caregivers
hosted by Westport Heights Elementary School, March 20th and March 21st, 2014.

See flyer for more details.  FLYER-Bully Workshop,Westport Heights

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